if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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