I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
