just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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