You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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