god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
