HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
