Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
