I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
