garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
