her vagine was all disorganized.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
