THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
