At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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