It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
