Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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