have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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