I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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