We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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