He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
