He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
