Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Randomize
