question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
