Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's shark week go big or go home
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
