Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Randomize
