While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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