Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
