If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
