from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
if only i could text you this smell
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
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I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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