White coat. Heels.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
