Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
