Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
