I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
