is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
