I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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