i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
