she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Less talking, more tequila
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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