I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
