I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
