i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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