he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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