if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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