Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We got so high we made milksteak
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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