ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
