I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
