He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
