The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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