My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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