I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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