Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
