my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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