Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
