I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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